I Loved Lord Voldemort
by harrypottermagic32
Summary: Voldemort may be old, ugly, and evil, but at one point he was young and handsome. When he was young there must have been a girl who fell for his charm and good looks. This is the story of the girl who did.
1. I Loved Lord Voldemort

I Loved Lord Voldemort

Perhaps loved isn't the right word. I can't fully describe the way that I felt about him. There was no logical reason for it, but I couldn't help it. He was handsome, without a doubt, and extremely intelligent. But more than that, he was intriguing.

We never had lengthy conversations, but he had a way of looking at you that would make your heart melt and fill you with fear at the same time. It was absolutely thrilling. And it felt like he was always watching.

Things never turned out the way I expected them to, obviously. Certainly not the way I had fantasized. Instead I am left with a heart that is too scarred to ever love again. The world is dark and cruel, and I am old now. At one point I was young, vibrant, and full of hope and vitality. Those days are gone now.

It would probably be best if I started at the beginning. I was born in 1926 as Phoebe Lynn Gallagher, and I grew up in a wizarding family. My life was pretty average, if anything it was better than average. I got along well with my parents and my sister, and we were pretty well off. Things continued to go smoothly in my life when I began to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry at the age of 11.

I loved Hogwarts and almost everything about it. It would be almost impossible not to fall in love with the place. Upon entering I was sorted into Ravenclaw, the perfect house for me. There I was surrounded by people like myself and I made some close friends.

I'm sure you could guess that I was quite intelligent and excelled in my studies. I never really thought of myself as anything extraordinary, but people had high expectations for me. Not surprisingly, I was made a prefect in my fifth year.

This story truly begins towards the end of that year. I was fifteen years old and insanely stressed about my upcoming O.W.L.s. My best friend Catherine sat beside me in the Ravenclaw common room, panicking.

"I don't know anything," she moaned. "I'm sure I'm going to fail my Transfiguration OWL!"

"Don't be silly," I told her. "You know what you're doing, you just get too nervous. It won't be that hard."

"Easy for you to say. You're so good at it." She wrote down another quick fact about animagi that might come in handy. "Shouldn't you be tutoring Garrett now?"

"Mmm, that's right. I'd better go up to the library now."

Garrett was our age and a Slytherin. I had never talked to him before I began tutoring him, for obvious reasons. Slytherins always stayed to themselves and they hardly ever chose to mix with the other houses. It was because of Professor Dumbledore that I ended up helping Garrett out. Garrett had been struggling in his studies and Dumbledore recommended that he get a tutor, and told me to do it. I wasn't crazy about spending any of my free time with a Slytherin, but I didn't want to disobey a teacher's word.

Garrett was nicer than I expected him to be. He was very quiet at first but he eventually opened up a bit. I found that he was immensely ambitious even though he didn't always have the skills to get where he wanted to go. He could very easily have flunked his transfiguration OWL and dropped the subject, but he was determined to prove that he could do it.

I can't really say that Garrett and I became friends, but we were certainly on friendly terms. As I went to him that afternoon I really thought he was starting to get the hang of things. Then he said to me, "Listen, do you want to come and hang out with me and some of my friends in Hogsmeade next weekend? You know, after OWLs are over?"

I hesitated. This was completely unorthodox- Ravenclaws just didn't hang out with Slytherins. "I don't know," I told him truthfully. "I'll think about it."

The next week passed in a blur, as test weeks always do. My dreams were filled with spells, charms, and potions, and I was obviously relieved when it was all over. As I headed off to bed that night, I figured my problems would be over for now and I wouldn't have to worry anymore- at least until my test results came. I couldn't have been more wrong.

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A/N: I used to write a lot of fanfiction, but this is my first story in about two years. I hope you like it so far, and I hope you will review! I know it starts out a bit slow, but I promise I know where I'm going with it and it will get very interesting.


	2. That Fateful Dream

Girls often dream about cute boys they know. That's just the way it is. However, when I had such dreams they were usually about a guy I had a crush on or one that I'd been talking to a lot. The one that entered my dreams that fateful night was one that I had never spoken a word to in my entire life and indeed one that I had never really thought about before.

His name was Tom Riddle and he was a Slytherin. The dream was not too exciting. He was just there, as if he was watching me. I woke up soon after but I could not shake the memory out of my head.

My biggest mistake was probably telling Catherine about the dream. "Oooh, you like him!" she squealed.

"No, I don't," I retorted. "I don't even know him."

"Come on, there's got to be some reason why you're dreaming about him. Maybe you're destined for each other."

"Doubtful. I think it's probably just a coincidence."

Nevertheless, Catherine felt the need to nudge me in the side every time we passed Tom in the hallway or saw him during a class. With her constant reminders there was no way I could get him out of my head.

Catherine was with me when Garrett approached me one day in the hall. "Hey Phoebe, are you gonna come into Hogsmeade with us?"

"No, I don't think so," I told him.

Catherine raised her eyebrows. "Will Tom be there?"

"Tom Riddle?" said Garrett. "Yeah, I think he will be."

Catherine smirked at me but I just smiled nervously. "Thanks Garrett, but I have other plans."

Garrett watched me curiously but finally left. As soon as he was gone I turned to Catherine. "What were you thinking? Now Garrett will realize I like Tom and he'll tell him about it!"

"Aha! So you do like Tom, you just admitted it."

"No, that's not what I meant. I meant that he'll think I like Tom and he'll tell him."

Catherine shrugged. "Garrett's not that smart. I'm sure he couldn't put two and two together and he doesn't even realize it."

"He's smarter than you think," I muttered.

After that incident with Garrett, I began to notice things about Tom Riddle. We would be sitting the Great Hall during the last few days of school, and I'd look over at the Slytherin table and swear he'd be watching me. He never seemed to look away when I saw him, but I was too embarrassed and would turn my head. By the time I got up the nerve to look back at him he would have his focus on something else, leading me to believe that what I had seen I had only just imagined.

However, Catherine also began to notice the stares that I was receiving from Tom. "It's obvious what happened," she told me matter-of-factly. "Garrett told Tom that you like him, and Tom is attracted to you."

"Yeah, okay," I told her. "I'm sure Tom doesn't even know my name."

I held on to this thought to try to convince myself that I shouldn't even try to get myself involved with Tom. But the man himself shattered all of my thoughts when I passed him in a deserted corridor one night when I was heading back to the common room alone.

I was scared to death that I had to see him when no one else was around, but I decided I would just give a small smile as I walked by. Before I had the chance to do anything, however, Tom looked me right in the eye and said, "Hello, Phoebe."

His voice was quiet and low but I knew that he had indeed said my name. Before I could respond he was gone. My heart raced and I heard the echoes of Tom's voice saying my name inside my head.

This whole thing was completely ridiculous. Because of one stupid, meaningless dream, I was allowing one person to dominate my thoughts.

The problem was that I was insanely attracted to him. He had black hair and was very pale, and he rarely ever smiled. He was extremely handsome, but I'd never heard any of the other girls say it. They were, I figure, too intimidated by him to go after him. I was intimidated by him as well, but it didn't stop me from thinking about him all the time.

In time I probably could have forgotten all about him or just admired him from afar. Unfortunately, fate wasn't going to let that happen.

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A/N: Sorry this update wasn't quite so speedy, but I'm a busy person. I figure I'll be able to update about once a week.

Thanks to my two reviewers, Midnight's Inertia and xxmadcowluverxx!


	3. The Real Tom Riddle

On the second to last day of school, Garrett again approached me and asked if I wanted to come out by the lake with him and his friends. My gut instinct was to say no, but a little voice inside my head felt differently.

_Tom will be there…_ this could be my chance to see what he was really like, at the very least. I didn't know him at all. Reluctantly I told Garrett I would join him.

When I went down to the lake, things started out normally enough. Garrett was speaking and I chimed in with something trivial- I don't even remember what I said. At that point Tom turned to me and said, "I don't understand."

I was taken aback and tried to clarify what I meant, but he just continued staring at me. "I know what you meant," he said, his expression unchanging. "I was kidding."

I didn't know what to say to that. Tom turned out to be completely sarcastic and often rude. He entertained us with stories about chaos he created at the orphanage where he grew up and how he often snuck out the windows of Hogwarts at night. He seemed extremely strange to me.

Here's the sad part. As we were talking, Tom nonchalantly reached over to a Hufflepuff girl's bag and took a sack of candy from Honeydukes out of it and helped himself. I stared in horror at him, but Garrett just shrugged and whispered to me, "He always does that."

The ease with which Tom could take possessions from other people astounded me. He offered the candy to all of us, but Garrett just shook his head. "You know I don't eat stolen goods, Tom." Tom leaned back and chewed on a sugar quill.

I felt as if I could cry. Even after this terrible display of immorality, I was still attracted to Tom. Thoughts of him would haunt me throughout my summer vacation, no matter how much I tried to forget.

For awhile I honestly thought I had succeeded in forgetting about him. The summer passed by and while the first two weeks were hard, I eventually stopped thinking about him and even stopped having dreams about him. I figured I was cured completely and I would soon find another guy that I would be interested in.

Catherine even suggested I go after Garrett. He was, after all, a nice guy, even if he was a Slytherin. However, I just couldn't see myself with him. I didn't think too much about Garrett or Tom for awhile after that.

My summer passed by in the way that most summers usually do. Nothing too interesting happened, but nothing terrible either. I looked forward to heading back to Hogwarts, and I fleetingly thought of Tom Riddle again. Would I see him in any of my classes? Perhaps. But it didn't make any difference to me whether I did or not.

I had only been at Hogwarts a few days when I again saw Garrett. He came over to Catherine and me during our charms class. He looked a little melancholy, but smiled when he greeted us.

"How was your summer, Garrett?" I asked him.

"Oh, it was very good." He stared off into the distance.

"How is Tom doing?" Catherine asked, winking at me. She never knew when to be quiet about something.

"Tom Riddle? That jerk?" Garrett's eyes were flashing.

"Whoa, what happened between you and Tom?"

"I'll tell you what happened," Garrett began angrily. "We've only been here for two days, and already Tom has gotten out of hand. I mean, I knew he'd been stealing stuff all the time, I just never thought…"

"Never thought what?" I prompted him gently.

"He stole almost 20 galleons from me," he said in a depressed voice.

"That's awful!" cried Catherine. "That's a lot of money."

"It's not that," Garrett said uneasily. "It's just… I thought he was my friend."

There was an awkward silence. Finally I said, "Are you sure it was him?"

"Positive. It had to be someone that knew when I hide my money, and you know how Tom is."

It was bad enough that Tom had stolen little, meaningless things from people he hardly knew. Taking a large sum of money from someone that was supposed to be his friend was highly upsetting.

"He never hangs around with me anymore," Garrett continued. "He's got his new friends now- Avery, Lestrange, and some other boys. I don't like them."

I frowned. I didn't like those boys either. It was obvious that they were into the dark arts and often did bad, deceitful things. I couldn't understand why Tom would want to spend his time with him. He was so intelligent, and a school prefect! I was lost in thought all the way to my next class.

Catherine and I split up as I headed down to the dungeons, since she wasn't continuing her Potions studies. I made it to class just in time, and scanned the room to see who was there. No Tom. I felt a simultaneous wave of relief and disappointment.

Professor Slughorn jovially greeted the class and showed us a few different types of potions. The first day was always an easy one, so I allowed my mind to drift off a little bit. I had attended all of my classes at this point, and Tom wasn't in any of them. It looked like I wouldn't have to face him much at all this year.

As Professor Slughorn began informing us about the rare ingredients in Polyjuice Potion, the large dungeon door creaked open. In swept none other than Tom Riddle. He said to Slughorn, "Sorry, Sir, Professor Dumbledore needed to speak to me about something."

"Quite all right, dear boy, quite all right!" said a grinning Professor Slughorn. He was quite fond of Tom. "Just take a seat anywhere."

Tom sat across the room. I had been watching him the moment he walked in the door. At that moment he turned and looked directly at me, inclining his head slightly. He did not say anything and his face did not even give any sign of recognition. It was quite possible he had forgotten all about me.

I slumped down in my seat and hoped he would stop staring. It was just the very beginning of what would turn out to be a long year.

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A/N: This is one of my longer chapters, I believe, most probably will be a little bit shorter. Thanks to mastermahgol, 404, xxmadcowluvverxx, Phantom'sJediBandieGirl, and Lauressa for reviewing!

Phantom'sJediBandieGirl- Yeah, I was afraid of that. But just as there are people now that have uncommon names, I suppose I can make an excuse by saying that maybe he was one of the few people that had that name back then, but it didn't become popular until later on.

I love reviews and always take to heart what anyone says, good or bad!


	4. Forever Scarred

The beginning of my sixth year proceeded normally enough, filled with homework, friends, and the occasional quidditch match. I kept myself preoccupied enough so that I didn't have spare time to think about anything else. Or anyone else.

It was simple enough to keep him out of my thoughts during the day, but it was at night when he truly haunted me. Night after night I dreamt about him, speaking to him, befriending him. They were such strange dreams too, often times it was something completely random that happened in them.

I explained one of these dreams to Catherine, who felt the need to interpret it, thinking herself quite good at divination. In it I had been sitting with Tom, talking to him as if he was a good friend, when suddenly my tooth fell out. He didn't say anything about it and acted like he hadn't noticed, but it was obvious he must have.

"Oh, Phoebe, I know what it means," Catherine told me excitedly. "It means you're willing to give things up to be with him."

"That's ridiculous," I said stubbornly. "I'm not willing to give things up to be with him. I don't even _want_ to be with him."

"Yes, you do," Catherine insisted. "Otherwise why would you keep dreaming about him?"

"Dreams don't mean anything. Divination is complete rubbish anyhow."

Although I would not admit it to Catherine, there was something else that had been bugging me, something I was wondering about. Was Tom haunted by similar dreams of me? I knew it sounded silly, and I shouldn't expect it, yet I couldn't help but wonder. Maybe the reason why I couldn't get my mind off him was because somehow, someway, we were destined to be together. I could think of no other logical reason for why he was so often in my mind.

Despite my feelings, I attempted to push on with a life that did not include Tom Riddle at all. I was quite successful in this except when I was in Potions class. I was a strong Potions student and could get away with not hanging on Professor Slughorn's every word. Regrettably, the extra time was spent watching Tom.

It frightened me and thrilled me to find that he was usually watching me back. He never broke eye contact (I was always the one to do so), and he never gave any sort of recognition. He never smiled or nodded, just stared.

It was a night in early October when I realized that I needed another book to complete my Defense Against the Dark Arts paper. It was still early evening and the library had not yet closed, so I hurried there to find what I needed.

I wish now that I had never gone up there. If I hadn't been so hard working and determined to finish my paper, things might have ended up differently. Then again, they might not have.

However, I did go, and it was just my luck that I ran into Tom Riddle on the way up.

"Hey, Phoebe," he said, his face never cracking a smile.

"Hi," I replied, and attempted to walk past him.

He reached out and grabbed my elbow, pulling me back towards him. I shivered at his touch. For the longest time he did not speak or move, but only stared, causing my heart to race and fear to take me over. He looked me up and down and almost made me feel indecent, as if he could see past my robes and knew what was underneath. I felt as if he could see past even my skin and into the deepest corners of my mind where my most hidden thoughts were.

I was backed up against the wall and he leaned his head towards me. I wondered if he would kiss me, and almost as soon as the thought entered my mind he did.

I felt every sort of sensation, every possible emotion that I knew to exist. I was lost in passion, and perhaps even love and extreme attraction for this handsome young man that had haunted my heart. I felt anger: at him for being so cruel sometimes and stealing from people, and at myself for allowing him to do this to me. I was puzzled, confused, and nervous.

I felt his hands on the back of my neck as I ran my hands through his hair. It was then that I realized there was another emotion I was feeling as well- sadness, and despair. I grew depressed upon knowing instinctively that Tom felt nothing that I was feeling. He did not kiss me for love, or even for lust.

There was only one reason why Tom held me in his arms, and that was for complete and utter control. And I allowed him to have that feeling of power and control over me.

He finally pulled away from me but kept his gaze connected with mine. Then, as suddenly as he had come, he walked away with his hands in his pockets.

I just remained standing there, as if someone had put a full Body-Bind spell on me. I was paralyzed and couldn't move at all. Finally the realization of what had just occurred hit me, and I was so overcome with emotions that the tears began rolling down my face. I slid down the wall until I was crumpled on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.

It wasn't until much later that I realized the necklace I had been wearing that night was gone.

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A/N: I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving, if you celebrate it. Hope you liked this chapter- please review!

Thanks to my reviewers: Aladailey, Lauressa, Phantom'sJediBandieGirl, xxmadcowluvverxx, super kai-chan, and krillball6!

Phantom'sJediBandieGirl- I think she doesn't like him for who he is, but there is just something intriguing about him that makes it so she can't stop thinking about him.

Lauressa- Unfortunately, Lord Voldemort has supposedly never loved another human being in his life.

Aladailey- Thanks. I actually haven't read many other Tom Riddle fics, but I can imagine the horrors of some Tom Riddle/Hermione fics. I have seen a few TR/Ginny fics, but I didn't really care for them.


	5. Trying To Move On

I have no idea how long I sat there, or what went on around me during that time. The tears eventually stopped and I shakily pulled myself to my feet. I never made it to the library. Instead I turned around and headed right back to the common room.

Catherine was still there waiting for me, and she knew immediately that something was wrong. Knowing that I couldn't put it off, I told her everything that had just happened to the best of my ability. My voice seemed surprisingly calm and unemotional.

One thing that I didn't tell Catherine was that I felt changed. I couldn't really describe it, but I knew I was different than I had been only hours ago. My heart felt heavy and hard, as if incapable of extreme emotions. I still thought of Tom Riddle, but it was no longer with an innocent longing or a wistful desire that he was different. It was with a sharp reality, a terrible feeling of knowing the truth.

I slept for many hours that night, and for the first time in a long while I did not dream about Tom. In fact, I couldn't remember what I had dreamt about at all. It was only a comforting emptiness that I experienced in my sleep that night.

Of course, life goes on. Mine did. It proceeded normally enough too, not nearly as tragically or dramatically as I imagined it might. Things were different, but not radically different. I just _felt_ different. I knew I would probably never speak to Tom again. I had nothing to say to him, and I despised him more now than ever. When he haunted me now it was not with longing, but with pain.

Still, I allowed him to control parts of my life. I stopped attending the Slug Club, a special group of intelligent students led my Professor Slughorn, because I knew Tom would be there. It wasn't a terrible loss, because I wasn't really crazy about the Slug Club to begin with.

In Potions class I threw myself completely into my work and didn't allow any extra time for thinking about Tom, who was sitting just across the room. The few times I did weaken and quickly glance over he was not watching me, but scribbling furiously in some sort of book.

Around the end of November Headmaster Dippet announced that Hogwarts would be having a Yule Ball to celebrate Christmas. Catherine got very excited and began whispering to me about all the date possibilities she might have. I didn't really care, I had no real desire to go.

"Come on, Phoebe, you have to go!" Catherine told me. "Look, I know you're still upset about the whole thing that happened with Tom, but this is the perfect time to move on."

"I don't need to move on from anything, I'm fine," I said. "Besides, I'm not gonna have a date and you will, so that won't be any fun for me."

"How do you know you won't have a date?" insisted Catherine. "Someone could ask you."

"No one will."

"Well, then maybe no one will ask me and we can just go alone together."

I smiled slightly. "You know that won't happen. Of course someone is going to ask you."

I was right, at least about that. Catherine was asked by two people, a guy named Peter from Hufflepuff and one named Nathan from Gryffindor. Catherine chose to go with Nate, because she felt he was much more exciting and good looking than Peter.

However, I turned out to be wrong in thinking that no one would ask me. It was a few weeks before the ball when Garrett approached me, looking nervous. I hadn't talked to him at all since I'd had my encounter with Tom. I had no desire to do so, even though I thought that Garrett might be able to understand how I felt a little bit better than Catherine had, since he really knew Tom.

"How are you, Phoebe?" Garrett asked me, not really looking into my eyes.

"Okay," I answered, not wishing to elaborate on my current feelings.

There was an awkward silence, until Garrett finally blurted out, "Would you like to go to the Yule Ball with me?"

I was a bit taken aback, but answered him truthfully. "I wasn't planning to go to the Yule Ball."

"Oh," he said, sounding a little depressed. "It's just… I didn't really have anyone to go with, and I didn't think you did either, so I figured we could just go together so we wouldn't have to go alone or not go at all."

"I don't know," I told him. "I just don't feel like going this year."

"Catherine's going, isn't she? You should come. You might actually have a good time."

"Maybe. I'll think about it. But I'm not promising anything."

I'm not quite sure why I told Garrett I would consider going to the Yule Ball with him. I knew I would never have any real feelings for him, just as I knew I would never live out the happy fantasy life with Tom that I had imagined for myself. Nonetheless, I had obviously been feeling a bit down and sought a way to distract myself. Perhaps going to the Yule Ball would actually cure my obsession with Tom Riddle.

Catherine was constantly encouraging me and begging me to come to the Ball. She used every excuse in the book- we'd have a good time, it might be the last school dance I'd get the chance to go to, and I actually had a date this time.

I couldn't deny that Catherine did make some good points. Besides, I didn't especially like the idea of sitting all alone in the common room that night. So I told Garrett I'd go with him, and Catherine and I started planning everything that goes along with such an event.

A nagging voice in the back of my mind wondered if Tom would be attending the dance. It didn't seem like his sort of thing, but the whole school usually attended these big functions. If he _was_ there, should I just ignore him?

Even though the feelings that I had when Tom kissed me were still strong, they had faded just enough to make me wonder what would happen if I encountered him alone again. But that was only hypothetical. Even though Tom hadn't actually done anything, I had been hurt enough by the feelings I sensed in him to allow anything else to occur between us. I just had to be strong.

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A/N: You probably noticed that there wasn't_ tons_ of action in this chapter. That's because I needed a transition chapter to pass some time and feelings. Don't worry, I do know where this story is headed. If you liked this story, please review!

Thanks to my reviewers: 404, krillball6, super kai-chan, Aladailey, Impractical Magic, angryazngirl, and Phantom'sJediBandieGirl!

404- Don't worry, you'll find out eventually!

Aladailey- Yeah, I figured that Voldy was probably always evil, even as the young Tom Riddle.

Angryazngirl- Thanks so much for your detailed review. When I first started writing my problem was always the pace, I always tried to do tons of action without any reflection from the characters- I think now I'm learning how to do that a bit more. And yeah, I always feel bad if I leave my readers hanging, but I usually end up updating every Friday. So hopefully I can stick to that deadline for myself.


	6. A Missing Spark

"Phoebe, I've made a terrible mistake!" cried Catherine dramatically. "I look terrible in these dress robes!"

I couldn't help grinning at Catherine's histrionics. She did, of course, look lovely, but she always panicked about such things. Her robes were a lovely shade of pink that went well with her tanned skin, and I told her as much.

"Well, I suppose I can deal with them for tonight," she sighed. "Now come on, you have to get yours on! The ball is only two hours away, and we have so much to do before then!"

I didn't object, because I really did like my dress robes. When I wore them I actually felt pretty. They were a deep navy blue with silver and bronze accents, and fit me perfectly. After I got them on I stood critically in front of the mirror. The dress robes looked nice, but the rest of me was rather dull.

"Let me fix you up!" squealed Catherine, and we spent the next hour or so doing each others' hair and makeup. I was actually pretty pleased with myself, although I felt like there was something missing from my appearance.

"I should get out that necklace I have," I told Catherine.

"Yeah, that would go perfectly with your outfit," she agreed.

I rummaged around in my small little jewelry box, but came up with nothing. I hurried over to my trunks and searched everywhere, but still couldn't find it. Finally I turned to Catherine and asked her, "You didn't borrow it or anything, did you?"

"No," she replied. "Is it missing?"

"Yeah, I can't find it anywhere." She helped me search around a bit more, but it still didn't show up.

"I probably just misplaced it," I said. "I really hope I find it though, my mom will kill me if it doesn't turn up. It's been in my family practically forever, and she really trusted me by letting me have it."

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find it," Catherine said consolingly. "But we can't worry about it right now, because it's just about time for us to meet Nate and Garrett!"

So we headed down to the Great Hall, where we met up with the guys who escorted us into the Ball. The place looked absolutely beautiful. I've always loved Christmas and the Christmas spirit that goes along with it, and the room truly felt magical.

The four of us sat nervously at a table together, as the music played and no one got up to dance. Finally some brave seventh years went out to the floor, and more people followed them. Catherine convinced us to go out and dance to a few songs, so we did.

We had been on the dance floor for about half an hour when I looked over Garrett's shoulder and saw none other than Tom Riddle. He was alone, leaning against the wall. I was surprised he was even there at all. What surprised me even more was that for the first time in awhile, he was watching me. I immediately became flustered and stepped on Garrett's foot.

"Do you want to go sit down?" asked Garrett. "I can get us something to drink."

I agreed, and Garrett got some punch while I sat back down at the table. Catherine and Nate were off having a fabulous time, so I could tell she wouldn't be joining us anytime soon.

Garrett and I sat together rather awkwardly at first, but eventually the two of us relaxed into easy conversation. An hour passed before I even realized any time had gone by at all. Garrett was just so easy to talk to; I felt like I really connected with him. Since we finally felt so comfortable together, I thought it would be safe to bring up a topic I had been dying to ask him about for a long time.

"I suppose you haven't talked much with Tom Riddle," I said, trying to act casual.

"Of course not," he replied.

"Well," I started slowly, "there was just one thing I was wondering about. If you don't mind telling me, that is. Why did you become friends with Tom in the first place?"

Garrett looked uneasy, but began speaking anyway. "I don't mind telling you. Well, in our first year I was feeling rather lonely. I've never been great at making friends, and it seemed like everyone else had already found a group to hang out with. At that point the only other person that seemed alone like me was Tom Riddle. Looking back, I think Tom probably stayed to himself because he wanted to, not because he didn't have a choice. It was because of Tom's loner status that I first approached him."

He paused and then continued. "There was also something about Tom that I just found fascinating and interesting. He seemed like such a mystery, and I found that exciting. But we were never really close friends. We spoke sometimes, and hung around together, but last year he started spending his time with a different crowd. I found out early on that Tom did some bad things, like stealing, but I just brushed it off as a character fault. But now I think he's gotten worse. I have no actual evidence, but I just feel it. I don't trust him."

I wasn't surprised that Garrett didn't trust Tom, considering what had happened between them. Garrett added slowly, "I don't think Tom ever considered me his friend."

I didn't know what to say to this, and I nervously swirled a straw around in my half finished drink. After a bit Professor Dippet announced that we would be having the last dance of the night, and Garrett invited me out onto the floor.

When the Ball ended Garrett and I exited the Great Hall hand in hand. I hadn't even noticed at first that we were holding hands. I had lost track of Catherine and figured I would meet up with her in the common room to hear how her night had gone. As I went to say goodbye to Garrett and go our separate ways, I found him staring into my eyes. Suddenly he kissed me gently on the lips and then slipped away.

For a moment I just stood there, not moving. I didn't know what to make of what had just happened. I thought and thought about it, and desperately tried to search my emotions, but realized I felt nothing at all. I was completely empty inside.

A year or two ago I probably would've ended up in tears at this lack of emotion. Instead I just felt anger, and I kicked the wall hard. I limped back to the common room, seething at the unfairness of my life. Here was Garrett, a great guy that I got along with so well, that I could talk to about anything! Yet when he kissed me there was no excitement and no passion.

And then there was Tom. Tom Riddle wasn't exactly a great guy. He stole from people, had no real friends, and made me feel like a worthless human being. And yet there was a real passion between us- on my end, anyway.

A relationship with either of these guys seemed utterly impossible to me. Garrett, because I had no passion for him, and Tom, because he was a bad person. Then again, a relationship with anyone seemed as if it would never happen for me.

I felt like it would be so overdramatic to say that Tom had broken my heart forever by kissing me the way he did, but that was truly how it seemed to me. I wondered that night what would become of me, and if my life would ever seriously involve either Garrett or Tom.

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A/N: Please review, good or bad, as long as it's constructive- I love to hear your thoughts and comments.

Thanks to my reviewers, xxmadcowluvverxx, krillball6, super kai-chan, 404, Queen of the Badgers, Lauressa, Aladailey, Susie Q, and callista!

Xxmadcowluvverxx- I hope this chapter answered your question! You brought up a good point, so I decided to address it.

Queen of the Badgers- Well, in the 6th book it discussed how Tom Riddle stole from some of the other kids at the orphanage. And I personally don't see him stopping that once he went to Hogwarts. And that was a pretty good prediction of this chapter- I already had this chapter written when I read your review, so I was pretty impressed with your accuracy.

Aladailey- I've been trying to follow a timeline of Lord Voldemort's life I found on the HP Lexicon website. So this is Tom's 6th year, so he would have killed his parents the summer before his 6th year. Oh, and good guess. :-)

Susie Q- Ah, no, that's not what I meant at all. I'm open to all sorts of reviews, good or constructive.


	7. The Emotion That He Lacks

I had, of course, explained everything that had happened to Catherine. She was very kind and sympathetic about the whole thing, but it was hard for her to understand where I was coming from. She couldn't comprehend why I didn't like Garrett, if he was so nice and fun to be around. The problem was that while he _was_ all those things, there was just no chemistry.

It didn't make things any better when Garrett asked me out the next day. To turn him down was quite heart-wrenching, and I have to admit I didn't too good a job of it. His eyes were pleading and I couldn't quite bring myself to say no, so I just told him, "I'm not ready for a relationship right now. Let's just be friends, and maybe in the future we'll see how things go."

I was fairly certain things wouldn't go anywhere in the future. But I couldn't hurt him. I felt like such a horrible person for turning him down when he was such a great guy.

Another discovery bothered me even more. Catherine and I were sitting around in our room when I decided to search around for my missing necklace again. I had no luck finding it.

At last something that Catherine said rung a bell. She inquired, "When is the last time you remember wearing it?"

I cursed my excellent memory. For after thinking on it for a few moments, it suddenly dawned on me. The night that I had been with Tom.

You didn't need to be a genius to figure out what had happened. Tom, the petty little thief, had obviously stolen my necklace. But why? I mean, I suppose he could sell it. It must have some sort of value, but it was pretty old and not in the best of shape so I don't know how much he could get for it.

And then there was the romantic side of me. The little voice in my head that said, _'Maybe he took it as a souvenir. You know, something to remember you by. Because he cares for you.'_ I quickly brushed the thought out of my head. It was ridiculous.

Catherine argued against me. "You could be wrong, that might not be the last time you had it. Besides, what would Tom want with your necklace?"

It was true that I didn't have much evidence, but I just knew that Tom had taken it. Deep within my heart I felt it. There was no explanation, only a certain feeling.

Months passed, and life went on. Garrett and I still spent a bit of time together, though I always felt a bit awkward. Catherine was her usual cheerful self, and things were almost normal.

The only thing different was the fact that I felt as if my heart had been covered by a brick wall. It was a terrible feeling at first, but I quickly got used to it and settled into a common, ordinary life.

Tom did little to bother me. Every once in awhile I would think he was staring at me, but when I looked up he never was, so I assumed it was just my imagination again.

Tom had been acting strangely as well. His face somehow seemed less handsome, but it was still attractive. He always seemed quiet and brooding, and was now surrounded by a dark pack of guys that always seemed so secretive. I could've sworn I heard his friends call him by some bizarre name- like Voldemort. A few called him "Lord." I just assumed it was some sort of inside joke or a weird sort of game they played.

And then in the late spring of that year, Hogwarts turned into a sort of hell. It started out as seemingly insignificant, although it later had a much bigger impact.

I heard a rumor going throughout the school that some sort of message had been written on a wall somewhere in Hogwarts. Catherine and I were a bit curious, so on our way to the bathroom in between classes we stopped by to see what it said.

Written in a deep crimson shade that looked sickeningly like blood, the words _'The Chamber of Secrets has been opened"_ were written.

"What do you suppose that means?" Catherine asked me, staring up at it.

"I have no idea," I told her uncomfortably. "I really don't like the looks of it though."

Every teacher we asked about it could give us no answer. Some told us to mind our own business and not worry ourselves about it, while others just said that it was probably some sort of practical joke and had no real meaning behind it.

So the students tried to forget about it and continue on. However, the real horror began a few days after that. I had just arrived to potions class when one of my fellow classmates came rushing in.

"Cornelius Hulme's been attacked!" she cried, and suddenly burst into tears.

The rest of the class was out of control. People began screaming, others looked extremely frightened, and many searched for answers. Finally Professor Slughorn got everyone to quiet down and tried to calm the young Hufflepuff girl that had brought us the news.

"What do you mean, attacked?" inquired Slughorn.

"I don't exactly know," she sniffed. "But Cornelius always meets me in the Great Hall and we walk down to this class together. He's never late but this time he didn't show up. So I decided to look around a little bit, and when I finally found him he was frozen on the floor! His eyes were wide open but he didn't seem to move at all!"

"Let's go back to him," suggested Slughorn. "You go run down to the hospital wing tell the nurse what's going on, and I'll bring him up there."

He then turned to the rest of us. "I expect you to be on your best behavior. This is a very serious matter. If anyone gets out of hand, my most responsible students-" at this point he nodded and Tom and me, "-will let me know about it. You may have whatever time I'm gone as a free study period."

When the two of them left, the rest of the class began chatting immediately. Many of the Hufflepuffs looked frightened or upset, the Gryffindors looked nervous and excited at the same time, and the Slytherins looked a bit smug. Everyone seemed very emotional.

I chanced a glance at Tom. He just sat at the table, not doing anything or talking to anyone. In the midst of all the chaos around him, his face was completely devoid of emotion. And it scared me.

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A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update and that this update isn't too long. However, I sprained my finger last week and it made it extremely difficult to type anything. It still hurts a bit but it's not as bad as it was. Also, we are no longer allowed to reply to reviews in author notes but I'll send you a message if I want to reply to your review. Also, I'm still gonna reply to anonymous reviewers here because I have no other way to contact them… hopefully won't mind that.

Thanks to my reviewers: krillball6, Susie Q, 404, Queen of the Badgers, Aladailey, Lauressa, MandaPandaAR, and HPfreak!

HPfreak: yeah, this story should be taking place during Tom's 5th and 6th years.


	8. This Is Getting Serious

News spreads like wildfire around Hogwarts. Catherine and I were sitting together at lunch the day that Cornelius had been attacked when Garrett came up to us.

"Did you hear what happened to that Hufflepuff?" he asked breathlessly.

"Yeah," I told him, "he was supposed to be in my Potions class but he never showed up."

"You know what this means, don't you?" asked Garrett.

"I'm not sure."

"It has to do with the Chamber of Secrets."

Catherine gasped. "But we don't even know what the Chamber of Secrets is."

Garrett grinned. "I found out. There's a big book locked up in the Slytherin common room written by Salazar Slytherin. I broke into it and read it. It actually explained everything."

I frowned. "Surely there must have been some sort of magical enchantment on the book to keep it protected."

"Well, yeah." Garrett held up his left hand, on which all the fingers were extremely swollen and crooked. He winced. "I don't know if this will ever be normal again. But I don't want to stop by the hospital wing in case they figure out what I was up to."

"I'm sorry, Garrett." I reached out and instinctively squeezed his uninjured hand. The pain seemed to melt from his face at my touch, and although it didn't exactly thrill me, I was glad that something I had done helped make Garrett feel better.

"So anyway, what did the book tell you?"

Garrett's face became serious again. "It's not pleasant. I don't even know if it's true. Slytherin was known for making up some tales or stories that might increase his prestige or make him seem more powerful than he really was." He paused, then went on. "Slytherin claims to have created a secret chamber in the school in which he hid some sort of monster to get rid of all the 'unworthy' wizards and witches. He also says that the only one that can open this chamber is 'one of Slytherin.'"

"So that means that somebody in the school that's in Slytherin is unleashing a monster on other students," concluded Catherine.

"Not necessarily," I told them. "It could mean that the person has to actually be related to Salazar Slytherin."

"Maybe it means it's the person that's head of Slytherin house!" guessed Catherine.

"Professor Slughorn? I doubt it." I shook my head. "But even if that's true, we shouldn't assume anything. I'm sure it could be anyone."

It didn't seem like we could do anything. Sure, it was very sad and rather frightening, but it wasn't directly affecting us. We didn't know enough about the situation to go out there and slay some sort of monster.

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A few weeks later I headed down to the Great Hall to meet Catherine for lunch just like I always do. As I walked in Garrett waved to me across the hall, and I smiled back at him. I settled down and put my books down next to me.

Some minutes passed and Catherine still hadn't shown up. I glanced around the room and saw that Nathan wasn't there either, so I figured she was probably off with him somewhere. I ate a few bites of food before I overheard a conversation between the two girls sitting next to me.

"I can't believe it," one girl said to the other.

"Yeah, another attack. It's so frightening. It just happened about ten minutes ago."

My stomach churned. _Another attack? But who?_ I prayed to God it wasn't Catherine, but I knew it very well could be. I leapt up from my seat and ran out of the hall, desperate to find her.

The Ravenclaw common room was empty, and so was our bedroom. I sprinted down the halls and finally decided to check the second floor bathroom. Relief flooded me as the sounds of Catherine's sobs greeted my ears.

She was sitting on the hard bathroom tile floor with her back against the wall and her head buried in her hands. I ran over and threw my arms around her.

"Thank God you're all right!" I cried.

Catherine attempted to speak but was unable to at first. Finally she sobbed, "I'm not all right!"

"What's wrong?" I asked, concerned.

"It's N-Nathan!" Fresh tears rolled down her face. "He was attacked!"

"Oh no, I'm so sorry," I said, enveloping Catherine in a hug. "Is he going to be all right?"

She sniffed. "I guess so. He's down in the hospital wing. He's not dead or anything. They said he was just paralyzed, but they have no idea when he's going to be better." She paused. "And that's not the worst part."

My heart leapt in fear. _Would the bad news ever stop coming?_ I asked wearily, "What else happened?"

Catherine stared at the floor. "I think it was my fault," she whispered.

I was confused. "Your fault? What?"

"About Nathan! It's my fault he's petrified!"

"Don't be ridiculous," I told her. "You're just upset. Of course it's not your fault."

"But I told him!" she cried. "I told him about the Chamber of Secrets! I shouldn't have done it!"

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked her.

"You know how Nathan is." She shook her head. "As soon as he found out anything about what was going on, he wanted to run off and be the hero. In his mind he was going to save the school from the terror and be the brave one that saved us all. I bet you anything he was off looking for the monster when it attacked him."

"You shouldn't blame yourself for that," I said soothingly. "That's just the way Nathan is. And you love him that way. Besides, there's no saying that he wouldn't have been attacked even if he didn't know about it. Maybe he was even better prepared because of what he knew."

"Maybe."

I escorted Catherine back to our common room, where she spent the rest of the afternoon napping and taking a break from the stress of her classes.

I saw Garrett in Transfiguration that afternoon and told him everything that had happened. He looked concerned and said, "This is getting serious."

I nodded silently. But who was letting a beast run loose around the castle? Who on earth was so cold hearted as to attempt to kill innocent students, many of them children? I just couldn't understand how anyone would have the ability to do such a thing, but I did know that whoever was the culprit was probably extremely dangerous- and he or she was probably one of my peers. For all I knew, I might see him in my classes daily. And somehow, knowing that made it even worse.

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A/N: Merry Christmas everyone!

I also want to say you guys totally blew me away- all your reviews were wonderful to receive, I don't think I've ever gotten so many for one chapter! I really appreciate your input and comments.

emaN- that's definitely something I'm working on. Hopefully I got the hang of it a little bit better with this chapter.

Rose- thanks for your comments, they were very helpful. I do work hard to try and keep the characters in canon. And yes, I suppose she is a bit overdramatic, but I think quite often teenage girls in love happen to be like that.


	9. Discovery in the Dungeons

Surprisingly enough, there was not another attack at Hogwarts for about a month. It was almost possible to forget everything that had happened, with the exception of the empty places where Cornelius and Nathan usually sat. We were all assured that they were going to be okay once the mandrakes which were supposed to cure them had matured.

It was late evening in May and Catherine and I were headed back to the common room after visiting Nathan's petrified body in the hospital wing. As we strolled through the halls chatting aimlessly, the voice of Professor Dippet was broadcasted over the school. "All students must return to their common rooms immediately- this includes prefects and Head Boy and Girl. Return to your common rooms immediately."

Struck with fear, Catherine and I hurried as quickly as we could to the Ravenclaw common room. The room was buzzing when we entered and everyone was dying to know what had happened, searching the room to make sure their friends were all there safely.

After a few minutes our head of house, Professor Blake, arrived. She cleared her throat and the entire room was plunged into silence. Finally she said, "I regret to inform you that a terrible tragedy has occurred. One of our students here at Hogwarts has passed away in a freak accident."

The whispering started up again. "Freak accident!" exclaimed one boy. "I bet it had to do with the Chamber of Secrets."

"There is no such thing as the Chamber of Secrets," said Professor Blake evenly.

"Who died?" asked a young girl.

Professor Blake sighed. "A young 2nd year girl in Hufflepuff named Myrtle."

A few of the younger kids looked upset, but none of the older kids knew her so we were left only with a sick feeling in our stomachs.

"There will be some new, extremely strict rules," continued Professor Blake. "Everyone must be in the common room by six o'clock PM every night. There will be no wandering the halls, and all students will be escorted to their classes by a teacher. Anyone caught breaking these rules will be punished severely."

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The next day at Hogwarts was extremely different. There was hardly any talking in the hallways and everyone was terrified. Many students had already been pulled out of Hogwarts by their parents. I felt sick all the time and could barely pay attention in class anymore. I hardly ever got to see Garrett, since the houses had been sticking together for safety.

We were being escorted from Defense Against the Dark Arts to Herbology when I discovered I had dropped my wand. Looking around quickly I did not see it at all and with a sinking feeling realized I must have dropped it awhile back. I couldn't survive at Hogwarts without my wand, so I was going to have to try and retrace my steps to find it. I was scared to death to be on my own, but I snuck off anyway.

With great relief I found it by a statue of a witch and bent down to pick it up. When I rose again I was face to face with Tom Riddle.

"Phoebe." He paused after saying my name and I stared up at him, speechless. "Get out of here. _Now_." His eyes were cold and I could tell he was very serious. I felt as if I was going to pass out just from looking into his eyes, so I backed off without a word.

I was headed back to Herbology when I saw two teachers headed towards me. Knowing I was not supposed to be out alone I quickly darted behind a curtain as they passed me.

"Terrible things," I heard one say. "Even the headmaster doesn't know what's behind it."

The other teacher sighed. "It'll only be a matter of days until they close Hogwarts. It can't remain open much longer with students dying."

Their footsteps faded into the distance and I slowly emerged from behind the curtain. I then made a split decision that was completely uncharacteristic of me. Instead of heading out to the greenhouses I sprinted off in the direction Tom had gone in, determined to see what he was up to. If Hogwarts was closing anyway, it wouldn't matter if I was caught. What would they do, expel me? And I wasn't too worried about being attacked, because I am a pure blood and Slytherin wanted to get rid of Muggleborns.

I actually succeeded in catching up with Tom, and saw that he was headed down to the dungeons. I watched him enter a room and slam the door behind him. I quickly pressed my ear against the door. I was in the middle of this now and I was too curious not to find out what was going on.

"Evening, Rubeus," I heard Tom say sharply.

"What yer doing down here, Tom?"

"It's all over," replied Tom. "I'm going to have to turn you in."

I gasped. Rubeus Hagrid, a 3rd year that was half giant, had been behind the attacks. And Tom was going to bring him down. I didn't know much about Rubeus- only that he had giant blood in him. That had been enough for me to steer clear of him, though.

"I don't think you meant to kill anyone. But monsters don't make good pets."

"It never killed no one!" said Hagrid, his voice getting louder.

"Come on, Rubeus. The dead girl's parents will be here tomorrow. The least Hogwarts can do is make sure that the thing that killed their daughter is slaughtered…"

"It wasn't him!" roared the younger boy, and his voice echoed around him. "He wouldn'! He never!"

"Stand aside," said Tom.

Before I could comprehend what was going on, the door flew open and a saw a bright flash of light. I had been crouched down right in front of the door and it hit me square in the forehead, knocking me to the ground. I blacked out for what must have been quite a few minutes.

When I awoke again Rubeus was gone and the door was shut. Tom Riddle was standing over me.

He just stared down at me and said quietly, "I _thought_ I told you to get out of here."

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A/N: I made all that stuff up about Myrtle being a 2nd year Hufflepuff- I couldn't find any concrete information, but if someone knows something let me know so I can change it.

Another thing that I noticed is that the HPLexicon says the Chamber of Secrets was opened in Voldemort's 6th year, but I was rereading the second book and the diary says directly that it was in his 5th year. Either way, for the purposes of this story it is his 6th year.

Also, I borrowed some of the dialogue between Hagrid and Tom directly from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

Oh yes, and Happy New Year everyone!


	10. A New Opportunity

Once again I was speechless under the power of Tom Riddle. "I'm sorry," I finally croaked. Around Tom, I again felt a rush of emotions. I was absolutely terrified- he looked so sinister I wouldn't have been surprised if he had killed me right then and there. Yet at the same time I also wanted to leap up and hug him to thank him for saving us and getting rid of the one who had opened the Chamber of Secrets.

To my surprise, Tom laughed. It was a high pitched laugh, completely unfitting for him. It was unnatural to hear Tom laugh, and it frightened me.

"It doesn't matter," he said. "You heard everything, didn't you?"

I nodded weakly. He smiled. "Then you know the truth. You know that Hagrid opened the Chamber of Secrets. And you know that I was the one who caught him. Did you see what the monster was?"

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter," he said. "It's gone now. And they're not going to tell you anything, you know."

"Who?" I asked.

"The teachers. Professor Dippet. They don't want to scare you, so they're keeping the whole thing very quiet. No mention of a monster, no explanations. Just that there's nothing to worry about anymore. But you know. You know who killed the Mudblood."

With that, Tom Riddle walked briskly away. I slowly rose and rubbed my aching forehead, feebly climbing up the stairs.

To my surprise I found Garrett at the top. He ran over when he saw me and held me close. I clung to him, because I had trouble standing up and my head hurt so badly. "Thank God you're okay," he said.

"We're all okay," I told him.

"I know, Professor Dippet just announced that the problem has been taken care of and that there's nothing else to worry about." He looked down at the bruise on my forehead. "But what happened to you?"

"It's a long story." I sighed. "I definitely have to tell you, though. Just not now."

"That's fine," he said. "We'll have all day tomorrow."

And at that moment Garrett leaned in to kiss me. As apathetic as I felt towards him, I allowed him to do it. He pulled away slowly and said, "Phoebe, I have to ask you something. This might not be the right time, but I just can't stay quiet any longer." He took a deep breath. "I was wondering if you'd like to try a real relationship now."

I thought about it briefly. Garrett was a great guy- one of my best friends. I had no feelings or commitments to any other guys. And despite the fact that it did feel more like a brother hugging me than a lover, it nevertheless felt protective and safe.

His eyes watched me hopefully and he expressed such passion just through his blue eyes that I knew I couldn't let him down. So what if I didn't love him? He didn't have to know that.

"Sure, Garrett."

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How odd it was to be dating Garrett! It seemed like almost nothing had changed, except that we held hands or kissed every once in awhile. Which wasn't even that bad of a thing, to be honest. Granted, I did not feel any fiery passions when I was with him, but we were comfortable and mellow, and that was good enough for me right then.

We sat together outside by the lake on the last day of our 6th year. Our fingers were entwined and our hands lay carelessly together in the grass. Catherine and her fully restored Nathan sat with us. Nathan had his arm around her and they leaned against a tree. It was picturesque, and appeared quite close to perfection.

This was my opportunity, and I knew it. Being with Garrett actually made me feel rather happy, and I needed that in my life. We were free from worry at Hogwarts, and things were good. It was the chance to put everything behind me and go ahead with living. No more pain, no more passion, no more Tom.

I decided to make that change in my life. I wasn't going to go back.

"This is a sad day," Garrett said, playing with some blades of grass with his spare hand. "We're going to be separated for the summer."

"I know," I replied, not really knowing what else to say. I wouldn't be pining away for him all summer, but I certainly would miss him, like I would miss a brother or dear friend.

"Don't be so sad, we can all write to each other!" exclaimed Catherine. Nathan bent his head down and whispered something in her ear. "That's an even better idea! Nathan invited me to come to his house the last two weeks of the summer, and he said you two could come as well, if you want to."

"Sure, why not?" Garrett said, looking a bit more cheerful.

"As long as my parents let me come, I'm there," I told Catherine and Nathan.

"They have to let you come, you'll be of age next year! You're not a child anymore," Catherine insisted.

"That's true," I said, smiling.

"Next year will be great," declared Nathan. "We'll all be together, and it'll be our final year. We'll rule to school."

"True," agreed Catherine, leaning over and pecking him on the cheek. "But you have to write to me every day over the summer, because I'll miss you _so much_."

"I know," he replied, stroking her hair. "I love you. We'll spend lots of him together, don't worry."

Their public intimacy made me feel a bit uncomfortable. Normally I wouldn't really mind, but with Garrett right next to me I was afraid he would start thinking I wanted him to start acting like Nathan acted around Catherine. While it was sweet and all, it wasn't something I would really want for myself, from anyone.

A few hours later we were on the Hogwarts Express heading back to London to be with our families once more. As the train pulled into platform 9 ¾, Garrett and I both realized it was time to say goodbye. We shared a kiss that was tender at best, but a bit lackluster as well.

As we parted, he leaned over and whispered in my ear, "I love you."

My stomach flip-flopped and my mouth felt dry. I just smiled at him and nodded. I knew I should say it right back to him, but I just didn't have the heart to do it. I couldn't really tell if he expected it or not, but I tried to ignore it. "Bye, Garrett. I'll write to you."

I felt a bit ill as I joined my parents. Why couldn't I keep up my façade and just tell Garrett that I loved him too? Of course it wasn't true, at least not in the way that he meant it, but I secretly felt like I was never going to love anyone else, so it didn't matter if Garrett thought I loved him. There didn't seem to be any harm in it.

Except that it was a lie. But still… it seemed like it shouldn't matter. As long as he believed I loved him, everything would be fine. And I would do my best to try and convince him of that fact. I just hoped my conscience wouldn't get in the way of what I believed was my only real chance of some sort of happiness. Was I being overdramatic? Perhaps. But that's how things looked to me.

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A/N: I hope you liked this chapter! I had a bit of writer's block on the second half of it- I hope it's okay. Don't worry, I have plans for the next chapter so there should be no writers block there.


	11. Summer Surprises

True to our word, Garrett, Catherine, and I joined Nathan at his house during the last two weeks of summer. I hadn't seen any of them since school ended, so I was very excited to be there. Garrett seemed like he had grown an inch, making him at least 5'11". I realized I had actually missed his clear blue eyes and sandy colored hair that never seemed to lay entirely flat.

Nathan's house was interesting because it didn't have too many traces of magic in it. It was a muggle house, and was entirely new to me since I grew up in the wizarding world.

As we stood around the room Garrett leaned over and whispered to me, "His parents are muggles?"

"Obviously," I replied jokingly. However, Garrett didn't laugh. He just bit his lip and shook his head.

I liked Nathan's parents- they were very friendly and seemed like sweet people. We all chatted for a little while and then Nathan's mother came into the room. "Nathan, can you come help me get ready for dinner?"

"Mum, I'm here with all my friends!" complained Nathan.

"Young man, you get in that kitchen. I don't want to have to make a scene in front of your friends."

Nathan did as he was told and reluctantly went into the kitchen. Catherine, Garrett and I sat around on the couch for awhile and discussed some trivial things, asking each other how our summers had been so far and if anything exciting had happened. Then out of nowhere Catherine said, "Garrett, I've been meaning to ask you something."

"Sure, go ahead," said Garrett.

"Why are you in Slytherin?" Catherine said it, but it was something I had been wondering as well. Why was Garrett, one of the nicest and sweetest guys I know, in a house that was generally made up of cold, cruel, and manipulative people?

He shrugged. "I guess I just fit the criteria."

"How on earth can that be?" pressed Catherine. "You're nothing like the other Slytherins."

"Well, the qualities of a Slytherin are ambitious and cunning. I think I'm both of those."

"You're definitely ambitious," I told him. "You work so hard at everything. And I guess you could be a bit cunning as well. But why not Ravenclaw then? It seems more like you should be one of us."

"Yeah," agreed Catherine. "It's not like you want to go out and kill all the muggleborns like Salazar Slytherin probably did."

Garrett looked uncomfortable. "Salazar Slytherin and I don't have as opposite point of views are you might expect. I do agree with some of the stuff that he believed."

"Like what?" I asked.

"Well…" Garrett paused. "You're going to hate me for saying this, but I don't think muggleborns should be allowed to attend Hogwarts."

There was an eerie silence in the room. I couldn't believe Garrett would be so discriminatory. He seemed like such a logical, reasonable guy. I couldn't help speaking up. "Garrett, why would you think that? Muggleborns are no different than any other people. Everyone should be treated the same."

"Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against muggleborns as people. I'm quite willing to treat them fairly and I don't even mind being friends with them. I just don't think they should be involved in the magical world."

"But why?" asked Catherine.

"There's a bunch of reasons why I think that." Garrett looked a bit uneasy. "First of all, they haven't grown up in the wizarding world. There are so many things they have to learn about us and I just think it's something one should be exposed to their whole entire life."

He stopped to take a breath and then continued. "Aside from that, allowing muggleborns into Hogwarts makes it too easy for muggles to find out about our world. All the people connected with them will find out about it. Their family, of course, will have to know about it. Maybe they're not supposed to tell anyone else, but how many people do you think actually follow those rules? I'm sure that an eleven year old girl who gets accepted into a magical school is going to tell all of her friends, even if she's not supposed to. It'll make our world obsolete in time."

Garrett really seemed to be into his argument at this point. "I don't see why they even bother. They're not really needed in our world, and they'll never be as powerful as more magical witches and wizards. People that have long lines of purebloods have deep roots in the ancient magic, and that contributes to the quality of the powers today. Granted, it's not the only thing, but I think it definitely plays a role."

Catherine and I were speechless. Sweet, kindly Garrett just gave that crazy speech? No one knew what to say and we sat staring at each other for the longest time. Finally Garrett spoke again. "I know you guys probably disagree with me. That's okay, but my point of view isn't going to change."

At that moment Nathan walked back into the room. "Hey guys, it's time to eat!" He didn't seem to realize the change that had happened when he was gone, and we were all glad for the excuse to drop the conversation and talk about something else.

I wasn't sure how to digest everything that Garrett had just said. In the end I decided not to worry about it. After all, it was his point of view and didn't really affect me. Besides, everyone has fault, so this was probably Garrett's. I couldn't expect him to be a perfect guy, especially since I wasn't the perfect girl and he liked me anyway.

oooooooooooooooooooooo

It was a week before school started when the owls arrived with our Hogwarts letters. We had been having a good time at Nathan's, and Garrett was kind and respectful and never let on about his opposition to muggleborns in the magical world.

A large tawny owl landed by my arm and offered me an envelope with emerald green writing on it. I took it from his beak and realized he had two letters for me, so I grabbed them both.

I ripped open the first one and quickly skimmed through the list of school supplies and books that we needed.

"We'll have to take a trip to Diagon Alley soon," said Nathan. "We're gonna have to pick up all these new books."

Catherine whistled. "Professor Dumbledore has us getting a new transfiguration book. I heard this one is pretty advanced. I hope I can handle it."

"You'll be fine," I reassured her as I began to open the second letter. "You're-"

Suddenly I stopped. Another letter from the school was in the envelope, as well as a shiny new badge. "Wow," I whispered.

"What is it, Phoebe?" Catherine asked curiously.

A grin spread across my face as I held up the badge for everyone to see. "They made me Head Girl!"

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A/N: For this chapter a lot was inspired by reviews I received. I realized that I needed a reason why Garrett was in Slytherin, and that sort of became the basis for this chapter.

I also wanted to let you guys know that I started my own C2 community. It's just starting out so it's not much yet. I just wanted to have a place where I could put some of the really good HP fanfics I've found and share them with others. So if you want to join you can get to it by going to my profile and clicking on my C2 communities. It says I only have 3 stories archived, but if you go to "Fiction Rating: all" there will be 8 stories available. I hope to add more throughout the next few weeks.


	12. They're Not Like You and Me

I couldn't help but where my new badge with pride. After all, I had worked hard in school and I sort of felt like I deserved it. On the train ride to Hogwarts that September, I reported to the prefect car like always, only this time I would be running the meeting.

A bunch of 5th and 6th years were standing around, but the person that stood out to me most was Tom Riddle. The first thing I noticed about him was the shiny Head Boy badge on his chest. I gulped nervously. The thought that Tom could be Head Boy had never really crossed my mind, but I realized then that it meant I would have to spend the whole year working with him.

He looked at me the way he always did, and it _still_ sent shivers down my spine. Who knows why, but he always had that sort of power over me. You'd think it'd get old, but it never did.

All the information about leading the prefect meeting had been sent along with the badge, and I was ready for it. "Ahem." I cleared my throat. "Listen up, everyone."

None of the younger students responded. "Come on guys," I pleaded.

"Attention, everyone," Tom Riddle said, barely raising his voice above its normal volume. Talking ceased immediately. I guess Tom Riddle had a sort of power over everyone that way.

He nodded at me, and I knew that was my cue to start the meeting. I was a bit nervous but tried not to show it as I proceeded. "Okay. Now I first wanted to say that all of you should be honored to be here. It's a privilege to be picked as a prefect, and this could be the way to becoming Head Boy or Girl. Now I'm going to read you a list of all your assigned duties that you'll have this year."

I then read them the list, and they looked bored as they listened to me. After I finished I told them, "Being a prefect also involves helping others and doing some volunteer work. We thought that this year we could try and set up a tutoring program to help out some of the other students that are struggling a bit."

Silence. I looked to Tom for help, but he didn't say anything. Finally I said, "What do you guys think?"

An annoying looking 5th year answered. "I don't like it. Why should I have to spend my time helping other people that don't take the time to study on their own like I do?"

I was astonished. Another girl chimed in. "He does sort of have a point. I've tutored a few people before, and they take advantage of it. They wait to do their homework till I can practically do it for them."

"You shouldn't do that," I told her. "There are ways to help people without doing the work for them."

"I still don't like it," said the boy, whose name was Chris. "I didn't think this was part of the prefect job."

"It wasn't always," I said, feeling a bit frazzled. "I just thought it would be nice to try something new." Finally I turned to Tom for help. "Tom? Do you have any input?"

Tom thought about it for a minute. "All of you shouldn't be complaining. If Phoebe or I tell you to do something, you should listen to us. Trust me, we know what we're talking about."

Chris looked a bit sulky but didn't say anything else. I wrapped up the meeting and dismissed all the prefects, telling them it was time to go get changed because we would be at Hogwarts soon. After they left, I collapsed in a chair.

"That was a disaster," I said out loud.

Tom just shook his head while watching me. "Don't worry about it," he said gruffly.

I kept talking. I just couldn't help myself. "I just don't understand it. Why are they so disrespectful? I thought they would want to try a tutoring program. I mean, they're _prefects_."

Tom sat down in the seat next to me. He looked me directly in the eyes and said, "They're not like you and me."

You and me. How many times had I thought about that phrase in relation to Tom and myself? And now he was using it, comparing himself to me. Saying we were alike. But was I really anything like the cold hearted boy who stole from other people and broke my heart?

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

About half an hour later Garrett and I sat together as the train pulled into the Hogsmeade station. "How was your meeting?" he asked me.

"Bad," I replied flatly. "No one listens to me and everyone hates me."

"I'm sure you're exaggerating," Garrett said, shaking his head.

"Well, the 5th years were practically jumping down my back! I'm just trying to be a good leader. But it's really a disaster."

"Who's Head Boy?" he inquired.

I hesitated. "Tom Riddle."

Garrett clenched his teeth. "He doesn't deserve it."

I shrugged. "Well, apparently Professor Dippet thinks he does. Besides," I continued, "He _did_ stick up for me. Kind of. Well, he did at least seem to agree with me."

Garrett looked at me curiously. "Don't forget what a jerk he is."

"No, of course not." I felt nervous talking about Tom but I tried not to show it. "He's a bloody thief. I hate what he's done."

"Good." Garrett took me by the hand as we exited the train. "I hope you don't have to interact too much with him. For your sake."

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A/N: I'm so sorry this update is a day late- next week is midterm week and I've been crazy busy studying. Plus American Idol has just started, and my obsession begins again! My two favorite things- American Idol and Harry Potter.

But I shall never forget about you guys, don't worry! I love you all, and I appreciate your reviews so much. I was truly blown away by all the comments I received on that last chapter- it means a ton to me, and I thank you so much for it.


	13. The Fly On The Wall

I was patrolling the hallway one night when I saw Tom Riddle stride by with a few of his friends. They made their way into Professor Slughorn's office. I knew they had another Slug Club meeting and I was glad I had my Head Girl duties as an excuse to get out of it.

The Slug Club had been fun in my first few years at Hogwarts. It made me feel special to be there, because I felt like Professor Slughorn had noticed my intelligence and invited me because of it. However, it was not only that but also because of my ancestry that he took a liking to me and thought I was someone special.

Now the Slug Club was made up of Slytherins, and I could do without most of them. The only Slytherin I've ever gotten along with is Garrett, and he is not very Slytherin-like at all.

Apparently no one was in the mood for causing trouble, because the corridor that I was in charge of was completely deserted. I was bored, so I sat with my back against the wall, next to the door of Slughorn's office. I took care not to sit so that the door would hit me if it opened- I learned that lesson already.

I could hear the muffled voices of Tom and his friends and Professor Slughorn, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. Suddenly the clock struck eleven and I jumped up as some boys, Lestrange and Avery among them, left Slughorn's room. I returned to my duties and paced up and down the hallway.

I was technically done at eleven and was just about to head back to my common room, but I noticed that Tom hadn't left the room yet. Once the footsteps of the other boys had faded away I saw that the door to the Professor's office was slightly ajar and I could just make out what was being said inside.

"Sir," said Tom's unmistakable voice, "I wondered what you know about… about Horcruxes?"

There was a pause during which I held my breath before I heard Slughorn answer, "Project for Defense Against the Dark Arts, is it?"

That was rubbish. Tom and I were taking the same DADA course and I'd never heard of a Horcrux before in my life.

Tom and Professor Slughorn must have moved to the other side of the room, because I could only hear snatches of their conversation.

"An overview, of course… horcrux is the word used for an object… part of their soul." That was all I could make out of what Slughorn had said. Tom said something in his quiet voice that I couldn't make out, and Slughorn continued. "Split your soul… one cannot die… of course, existence in such a form…"

It was really making no sense to me. I studied just as much as Tom did and I had never come across anything that sounded even remotely like the word "horcrux." Something about splitting your soul? And immortality? Why was Tom asking about such a thing?

"How do you split your soul?" I heard Tom say clearly, sounding almost eager.

I strained to hear Slughorn's voice. "Supreme act of evil. By committing murder. Killing rips the soul apart…" Slughorn's voice got quieter and I could no longer hear anything that he was saying. Tom questioned about something and Slughorn said a bit loudly, "Do I look like a killer?"

Tom quickly apologized, and I decided it was definitely a good time to leave. From what I could gather, a horcrux could split your soul, but only if you killed someone.

Was Tom more evil than I ever made him out to be? Was there more to him than simply stealing from people… would death be next?

The next morning I spent the whole day in the library, trying to find anything I could on horcruxes. However, I could not even find the word once, so I eventually had to give up. Perhaps it was all some sort of joke, and there really wasn't any such thing as a horcrux. Deep down I knew that wasn't true. I'd heard Tom speaking about it and I could tell he wanted to know about it more than almost anything. I felt a bit ill and went back to my common room with a headache for the rest of the day.

oooooooooooo

I actually did not have to interact too much with Tom Riddle. We spoke for very minimal amounts of time and mostly avoided each other the rest of the year. I never mentioned horcruxes to him- I knew better than that- and I tried to forget about them myself, since I knew I would probably never find out anything and no good could come from it. I never mentioned what I had overheard to anyone.

Graduation came all too quickly, and before I knew it I was saying goodbye to the people and the school that had meant so much to me for the last seven years. The ceremony was beautiful, and Tom and I stood together and both made a speech to our fellow students. I need not go into detail, for it was much like every other graduation that has ever occurred.

Afterward there was a party in the Great Hall. Tom and I led the graduates into the Hall, and once there we parted ways. However, before I went off to be with my friends and he went to be with his, he took my hand and slowly brought it up to his lips. I was trembling and I knew that he could feel my hand shaking within his. He kissed my hand and then let it drop, saying to me, "Thank you, Phoebe." With that, he was gone, and it was the last time I would see Tom Riddle as he was then.

I didn't know what his last statement meant. Whether he was thanking me for helping him with all the Head Boy/Girl stuff, if he was grateful to have known me, or even if he was saying thank you for the kiss we had shared almost two years ago. I stood rooted to the spot for a few moments, gazing at where he had just stood.

Suddenly Garrett was behind me and my thoughts were shattered. He took me by the hand and led me over to a table where there was food waiting. "There you are, I'd been looking for you!" he said to me. He obviously hadn't seen anything that had happened between Tom and I, and I was thankful for that.

A band had been hired and everyone danced and had a wonderful time together as the afternoon became evening. As the night wore down the tears began to surface on many people's faces, realizing that they might never see each other again.

I myself had plans to go for an internship and training program and St. Mungo's. I had been unsure about what I wanted to do for a career, but after flipping through brochures and pamphlets I thought being a healer might be a good job for me. Garrett would be going to a similar program at Gringotts.

With only a few minutes left before we had to leave Hogwarts, Garrett led me outside to get some fresh air. We were the only people out there and it was quiet and serene.

He said to me, "I can't believe our time at Hogwarts is over."

"I know," I agreed. "It's going to be a completely different life now."

"It is," he said slowly, "but that doesn't mean that I don't want to keep on spending my life with you. Phoebe, I love you. We're leaving school now and starting new lives but I still want one thing to be the same- I still want to be with you." Before I knew it he was down on one knee before me. "Phoebe, will you marry me?"

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A/N: Cliffhanger! I hope you guys enjoyed the appearance of Tom in this chapter. Please note he's not going to be appearing in the next chapter or so- don't be mad! The lines in the horcrux scene were borrowed from Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. I know it's technically supposed to take place in Tom's 6th year, but it just worked better for me if it was his 7th.

Thanks to everyone that has reviewed so far!


	14. Garrett's Revenge

I stared aghast at the ring in the box that Garrett extended towards me. This was the last thing I expected. I quickly took a deep breath and tried to sift through my thoughts.

Garrett was a nice guy. I liked him, and I liked spending time with him. He was kind, and somewhat intelligent, and I knew that he would take care of me. He had all the qualifications for being a good husband.

There was really only one problem with Garrett. I didn't love him.

For a moment my thoughts drifted to Tom, the only person I ever had really passionate feelings for in my life. I knew deep in my soul that it was not in my destiny to be with Tom, nor would it be a good thing for me if I was. However, knowing that didn't really make it any easier to bear. I just knew I would never have such strong feelings of passion again.

Nevertheless, the idea of marriage appealed to me. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I'd always just assumed that I would get married one day. And why not get married to Garrett?

One other thing played around in my thoughts. I could never really get rid of the feeling I had when Tom had used me and abused my feelings so thoroughly. It had felt as if he took a little piece of my heart with him, and it was so incredibly painful. If I married Garrett, I could be happy and content. I would never have to feel that way again.

"Sure, Garrett," I whispered. "I'll marry you."

His eyes lit up as he stood, put the ring on my finger, and enveloped me in a huge hug. "Oh, Phoebe!" he cried. "This is the best day of my life."

I smiled at him, because I did genuinely feel some happiness. Not for myself, necessarily, but because I did care about Garrett and it made me happy to see him so happy. It wasn't such a bad thing.

"When do you want to get married?" he asked me, grinning.

"Gosh, Garrett, I don't know!" I said, shoving him playfully. "You have to let me get used to the idea first. And I'll need lots of time to organize all the details. We don't want anything going wrong."

"Good point," he agreed. "Okay, I'll leave you in charge. Whatever you say goes."

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I was a bit nervous about telling Catherine of my engagement. She was my best friend in the whole world, and knew me better than anyone else. She was well aware that I did not love Garrett, and I was afraid that she wouldn't approve of my decision.

I was right. "Phoebe, why?" she asked me. "I mean, I know he's a nice boy and you guys are friends and everything, but you don't need to do this. I'm sure there's some guy out there somewhere for you, and you can be happy and spend the rest of your life with him."

"I'll be happy enough with Garrett," I replied. "Besides, I don't think there's anyone else in the world that I could fall in love with. I just _know_ it."

"You're being your usual self," Catherine told me outright. "You always philosophize and analyze yourself into unhappiness. It doesn't have to be this way."

I shook my head. Maybe I did think too much, but it was all the truth.

We had been sitting together in the apartment that the two of us were sharing, now that we had left Hogwarts and had to make our own ways. Garrett and I had agreed it would be better not to live with each other until we were married, so until then I was rooming with Catherine.

Just at that moment Garrett himself came knocking at the door. "Come in," I called to him.

He came into the room and said, "Hey, what are you guys up to?"

"We were just talking about the wedding," said Catherine.

I nodded, and added quickly, "we're planning some things. You can help us if you like."

"Sure, I don't mind," he said, and settled himself down on the bed next to me.

We discussed many things, and finally decided on pale pink parchment for the invitations. Catherine had seen a special kind of ink that was bewitched to sparkle and twinkle, so we decided to get some of that in light blue. The guest list was drawn up pretty quickly. All of my family members and all of Garrett's were invited, plus all of our friends at Hogwarts. Tom was not mentioned at all, and I, for one, was not going to bring him up.

Next we moved on to the attire. I would be dressed in the traditional white and Garrett in the traditional black, but we had to decide on colors for the bridesmaids. Catherine was to be my maid of honor, and she was partial to the color pink, which she kept hinting at. I liked the idea of keeping the blue and pink theme, so we decided on pink robes with a blue sash for Catherine, and blue robes with a pink sash for the other bridesmaids.

"We can go and look at some wedding robes this weekend, if you want," suggested Garrett.

"Sure, that's fine," I told him.

"Do you have any special jewelry you want to wear?" Catherine inquired.

I thought about it for a second. "I'm really not sure," I told her. "I don't have anything too special."

"I'll buy you something," Garrett said immediately.

"Oh, no, you've done so much for me already," I stammered.

"Are you sure you don't have anything already? Or your mum or a family member has anything you'd borrow?" asked Catherine.

"Maybe some sort of family heirloom jewelry?" said Garrett.

I sighed. "I did have the most gorgeous necklace once. My family is distantly related to Rowena Ravenclaw, and supposedly this necklace had once belonged to her. I rather doubt it's authenticity, but it was still beautiful."

Garrett turned and looked at me. "What happened to it?"

My voice caught in my throat, but I ultimately decided it would be best just to go ahead and tell him the truth. "It was stolen, I believe."

Garrett looked upset. "Stolen? By who?"

"Tom Riddle," I mumbled.

"Who? Speak up," he demanded.

"Tom Riddle," I said a bit more clearly.

"That bastard!" exclaimed Garrett, growing red in the face. "How on earth could he do that to you? It's terrible!"

"I know," I muttered. "I was upset about it for awhile, but it's okay now."

"No, it's not," he insisted. "It should be kept in your family. It rightfully belongs to you." He paused. "I'll get it back for you."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't be silly. First of all, we have no idea where Tom is now or what he's up to. Secondly, he probably sold it years ago."

"Then I'll find him and make him track it down. I won't let him take advantage of you!"

"Garrett, it was almost three years ago!" I cried. "I'm okay, really."

But Garrett would not listen to anything I had to say. He was determined to do something for me. I didn't really want to talk about it anymore. I figured that he would try and find Tom and have absolutely no luck, and give up eventually.

It wasn't that big deal of a deal- or so I thought.

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A/N: Hope you enjoyed the chapter! I think it was one of my longer ones so far.

Please review!


	15. I Couldn't Be Happier

It was about two weeks before I was supposed to get married to Garrett, and it seemed that he had given up on trying to get my necklace back for me. It was just as well, because I didn't want to have anything to do with Tom Riddle ever again.

Garrett, Catherine and I were having dinner at the Leaky Cauldron with a bunch of old Hogwarts friends. Garrett had his arm around me and everyone was discussing our upcoming wedding.

"It's cute," said one girl that I had sometimes talked to. "I always thought you guys would get together."

Garrett put his arm around me. "I couldn't be happier. This girl means everything to me." He kissed the top of my head.

"Me too," I said, trying to sound convincing. And suddenly I knew I was, because I felt a passion burning deep inside of me. I melted at the sight of the face in front of me, and my heart started beating quickly, like a girl with a childhood crush.

Only it wasn't Garrett's face I was looking at. It was Tom Riddle's.

At least I thought it was. I couldn't exactly be sure. He was over in the shadows and a few seconds later he was gone. But there was no denying the feelings he produced within me.

Suddenly I felt out of place sitting around with my friends. It wasn't fair. They all _thought_ I had the perfect life, but I was inwardly tortured by things I couldn't control. Or maybe I could control them, but I liked the way Tom made me feel sometimes so I allowed myself to feel it.

All I knew was that I needed to be alone. Desperately. "Excuse me," I murmured to Garrett. "I'm going to go use the bathroom."

With that, I stood up and went into the bathroom. To my relief there was no one else around. I locked myself in one of the stalls and stood there. I looked at the walls around me and suddenly all of my thoughts came flooding forward.

_I couldn't be happier._ Garrett's words echoed over and over in my head. I _should _be saying the same thing. Hadn't I always wanted to get married, and have a nice group of friends to spend my time with? And I had good signs of getting a good job. Life was going in exactly the direction I had wanted it to go in. What I was getting was everything that I had ever dreamed of for myself.

Strange, how getting everything that you wanted in life could turn out to be so complicated. When I had imagined my perfect future, there were a few things I neglected to include. Like the romance and chemistry between husband and wife. I had pictured the perfect husband as a hard working, kind, caring, and loving young man. And that's what I was getting, wasn't it?

And then there was Tom. I absolutely hated myself for being attracted to him, and for allowing myself to think about him. I knew that he was no good, but I still couldn't help wishing I could kiss him again, even though it destroyed me last time. What was it that made me keep falling for him?

What I really wished I could do was forget all about Tom completely. The only way I would achieve that is if I didn't have to see him again. I thought that was happening until I had seen him again that night. Every time I saw him again I was right back to where I started, and I would have to work my way back up again.

For the first time in awhile the tears began to fall. I leaned against the stall door and sobbed into the palms of my hands. Finally I lifted my face and whispered, "Please, give me an easy way out."

The tears dripped down my face as I continued talking out loud, to myself. "I hardly ever ask for the easy way out. No matter how tough things get, I try to be thankful for the challenge, knowing that it will make me a stronger person."

I paused. "But this is too hard… I can't do it anymore. I don't want to break down every time I see him. I don't want to go through that. I just want to be happy."

Finally I wiped the tears from my eyes and unlocked the door. I studied my reflection in the mirror and realized the fact that I had been crying was quite obvious. I splashed some cold water on my face and did my best to smile and look happy. If I was supposed to be happy, I wouldn't let anyone know that I was really feeling otherwise.

There is nothing quite like crying alone in a bathroom stall. There is a kind of solitude in such a place, and an intimacy with your inner thoughts that you never really get to experience any where else.

When I came back to finish my meal with my friends I noticed that Garrett was missing. I asked about his absence. "Has he gone off to the bathroom too?"

Nathan shook his head. "No. I'm not quite sure where he went, but he said he couldn't stay any longer, there was something he had to take care of. He did ask that you stoop by and visit him tomorrow evening."

I looked at Catherine, and her face was completely blank. I realized that Garrett truly had just left suddenly, without any real explanation.

Perhaps he hadn't provided an explanation to them, but I had my own suspicions about where he was. There was no doubt he had probably seen the same person I had seen tonight.

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Catherine and I spent the next afternoon shopping around for flowers and other little odds and ends that we needed for the final touches for the wedding. It was like having a girl's day out, and I really enjoyed it.

We stopped for some ice cream, and then we began walking. Catherine was headed back to our apartment, but I was going to Garrett's. She would walk about half way with me, and then we would part ways.

As we strolled along night fell and the sky became dark. Catherine pointed at something off in the distance. "Look, I think someone's setting off fireworks. There must be some sort of celebration going on."

"I guess so," I agreed, as I watched the green sparks in the sky. It was then that Catherine and I said goodbye and I continued on my own.

As I got closer and closer to Garrett's, the bright sparks in the sky seemed to get larger and brighter. When I finally reached his little house I realized they were right over his roof.

I stood staring up at the green image in the sky. I didn't know what I meant, but somehow I knew it couldn't be a good thing. My stomach jolted at the mere sight of an emerald green skull that had a snake coming out of its mouth.

I began to dread what I would find when I went inside, and I almost turned around and went home. However, curiosity got the best of me and I ventured inside, my wand lit up in front of me.

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A/N: Sorry this update is a day late! I was having a bit of an off day yesterday, so I just went to bed early.

Thanks to all my reviewers, and please feel free to leave me your comments on this chapter!

There are a few references to a song from the musical "Wicked"- the song "Thank Goodness." Mostly the "I couldn't be happier" parts. I was inspired by these lines from that song:

_I couldn't be happier_

_Simply couldn't be happier_

_Well- not simply_

'_Cause getting your dreams_

_It's strange, but it seems a little- well, complicated_

_There's a kind of a sort of- cost_

_There's a couple of things get- lost_

_There are bridges you crossed you didn't know you crossed_

_Until you crossed…_


	16. A Dark Mark

I crept slowly up to the door of Garrett's house. The door was slightly ajar, and I pushed it open and continued on inside. The entire house was completely dark.

"Garrett?" I called out hesitantly. I stopped and listened for a moment, but I could hear no sound at all other than my own breathing. "Hello? Is anyone here?"

The whole scene felt extremely eerie to me, but I tried to brush off the feeling I was getting. I found my way into the living room and switched on the light.

The breath caught in my throat at the sight in front of me. There, lying on the floor, not moving a muscle, was Garrett.

I could feel my heart beating in my ears and my pulse racing as I flew across the room and knelt next to him. "Garrett," I whispered, cupping his face in my hands. "Are you okay?"

But there was no answer. His eyes remained closed, and his lips did not form the familiar smile that I knew so well. There were no reassuring words, no attempt to make me feel better this time.

I lay my head on his chest and tried desperately to hear a heartbeat, or some sort of sign that would let me know he would be okay. There was nothing. I had to face my worst fears- Garrett was dead.

I clutched his cold shoulders and touched my forehead to his, and kissed him gently once on the lips with more passion than I ever had when he was alive. Tears streamed down my face as I held on to him, not letting go of one of my dearest friends.

"Please don't be dead," I whispered in his ear, knowing that he wouldn't respond. "Garrett, wake up. I'm here. I need you."

I don't know how long I lay there with my arms around his lifeless body, hoping against all hopes that I would wake up any moment and discover that everything that had happened had only been a dream.

It seemed ages ago that I was sitting at a table in the Leaky Cauldron, surrounded by my friends and yet crying on the inside. That all seemed so far away, and so silly now. I had sobbed over a man that I meant nothing to, and I had been angry that my life wasn't perfect, the way I wanted it to be. Now I'd lost one of the closest people in my life.

I took Garrett's hand in mine and closed my eyes, lying right there on the floor next to him. I didn't mean to fall asleep, but the fright and anxiety I had just experienced had exhausted me, and I fell into a restless slumber.

When I awoke the next morning I did not want to open eyes. I was unsure why, but I just had a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I felt that I didn't want to live this day to come. I felt a hand in my hand, a hand that I had held so many times and knew so well. But it was different now. Now that hand was cold and lifeless. With a jolt I remembered all the events of the night before and my eyes flew open.

Garrett's body was right there next to mine. It was sickening to realize the man that was supposed to be my husband was now dead. He had died believing I loved him, and I was glad I had not done anything stupid to make him upset. In a strange way, knowing that he was no longer living made it easier to convince myself that I had loved him the way he wanted me to. Deep down in my heart of hearts I knew it wasn't true, but it was just a little bit easier to deal with.

I kept on holding his hand in mine. I looked down at it to feel his skin for the last time. Suddenly I noticed something glimmer on his wrist. Upon closer examination I discovered that the necklace that had been stolen from me all those years ago was wrapped tightly around his arm. I dropped his hand and watched it land softly on the carpet.

"No," I whispered. "Garrett, who killed you? Please… it couldn't have been Tom… it just couldn't have." Tom may have been strange, he may have stolen from people, and he may have broken my heart, but I did not believe he had killed Garrett.

"Phoebe!" gasped a voice from the doorway. I looked up and Catherine was standing there, looking shocked.

Seeing her there only seemed to make things worse. She was intruding on a scene that felt so intimately private, but more than that, seeing her there made everything that had happened seem more real. All the pain and the hurt came back again, and I choked up at the realization that I would have to explain what was going on.

"What happened?" she asked quietly. "You never came home last night, and didn't send me a quick note or anything so I was a little worried. I decided I'd stop by this morning."

"I… don't… know," I sobbed, barely able to get the words out and trying not to choke on my tears. "I just… came by… and he was here… like this… exactly like this… I've no idea…"

Catherine came over to me and gently led me into the next room and set me down at the kitchen table. She summoned some food from the pantry to her. "Here. Try and eat something, I'm sure you haven't eaten. I'll be right back."

With that, she apparated away. I sat motionless at the kitchen table. My stomach was churning too much and had too many knots in it to try and force anything down. After what seemed like eons Catherine came back, accompanied by a middle-aged looking wizard. "This is Charles," she said softly. "He's an auror, and he has to ask you a few questions."

Charles looked at me kindly and said, "I'm so sorry about your loss. I know it must be hard for you, but I hope you'll try and answer some questions so we can discover the culprit of this murder."

I shuddered at the cold word, but nodded my head all the same. Charles continued, "Tell me exactly what happened."

I dried my eyes and tried my best to explain what had happened, my voice only wavering a few times. "I was with Garrett and a group of friends on Friday night, and he left while I was in the bathroom. One of the people I was with told me he had to leave suddenly, but that he wanted me to stop by his house the next evening. So Saturday night I walked down here, accompanied part of the way by Catherine. We saw some green sparks in the distance but thought it was nothing. She left, but as I got closer to Garrett's house I realized the sparks were actually directly above his roof and they formed a green skull with a snake coming out of the mouth."

The auror looked a bit puzzled. "Really? Some sort of symbol was in the sky?" I nodded. "Okay. What happened next?"

"The door was open a crack, so I went inside. Everything was dark. I turned on the light in the living room and found Garrett's body there." I couldn't go on after that, but there was nothing else to be said. Catherine came over and hugged me, and Charles sat nearby looking a little uncomfortable.

Finally he turned to me and said, "Just a few more questions. I'm very sorry to have to do this to you. Unfortunately, you'll probably have to repeat your story a few more times in court or somewhere else. Now, what is Garrett's full name?"

"Garrett James Allen."

"And what is your relationship to him? Were you his girlfriend?"

"Fiancé," I mumbled.

"What is the name of that person that told you Garrett had left suddenly Friday night?"

"Nathan Palmer."

Charles began writing something down on some parchment. "Do you have any reason to believe that Nathan might have killed Garrett?"

"None at all," I said immediately.

"Do you have any idea who would've done this? Did he have any known enemies?"

I thought fleetingly of Tom, but I bit my tongue and held myself back from saying his name. I had no reason to believe him to be a murderer, and I did not want to bring him back into my life for any reason if I could help it. I said nothing.

Charles examined the body and then came back, saying, "It seems clear to me that he was indeed murdered. There is no trace of a struggle or of any sort of injury at all. It could only have been done by the Avada Kedavra curse."

I gulped nervously. Charles said, "I will have a mortician stop by later this afternoon to remove the body from the house."

The mortician did indeed stop by that afternoon, bringing a beautiful wooden coffin with him. He asked me if I wanted to change the outfit that Garrett was wearing, but I told him I wanted the clothes to remain the same. His mother and I had decided the vigil would be a closed casket affair anyway.

The mortician did ask me if I wanted the \ necklace found around Garrett's wrist. I violently shook my head no. I never wanted to see that necklace again- it would remind me of all the pain that Tom had caused me, and all the hurt I'd gone through due to Garrett's death. The necklace was buried deep into the earth with Garrett, never to bother me again.

Garrett's body was lifted and slowly placed into the coffin. It was the last time I would ever see him.

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A/N: Well. The first thing I want to let you know is that this story isn't over yet. There's still another two chapters or so to go.

This chapter was the easiest and the hardest one to write all at once. I really wanted to put some real emotion into it, and I hope it worked, at least a little bit. Let me know in your reviews.


	17. As Time Goes By

I was never really the same after Garrett died, but I wasn't that different either. I just lived life from day to day, not really thinking of the future and trying not to think about the past too much.

I buried myself in my work as a healer, because I felt like even though my life wasn't going too well at least I could try and help others. In fact, Professor Dumbledore even became headmaster of Hogwarts and invited me to apply for a job as the school Healer. I was unsure about whether I wanted to do it, but I went to the meeting with him anyway.

When I walked into his office Professor Dumbledore smiled on me with kindly eyes. I was around 27 years old then. He said to me, "Sit down, Phoebe. How are you?"

"Fine," I replied automatically.

"But not exactly better than ever, right?" I nodded. "It's okay. I know what you've gone through, but have faith that things will get better."

"I try," I said weakly.

"We have two positions open in Hogwarts right now, and I wanted to offer you the position of healer here."

I paused. "I don't know," I said honestly. "I like where I'm working right now… and I don't know if I could bare being around here all the time again."

Dumbledore nodded slowly. "I think I understand." He glanced at a watch in his pocket and turned back to me. "I'll keep looking, but if you change your mind please let me know. I do have another appointment right now, but if you ever want to stop by for any reason, feel free."

"Thank you very much, sir."

I headed out the door and walked into the hallway. I passed by a man who I figured was coming for a job interview, but I didn't really look at him that closely. As he headed into the office I did a double take and turned around, but I could no longer see him. The person that I had just passed looked very much like Tom Riddle, but I could not be sure. His face was much thinner and very white, with an almost waxy appearance. It was like I was seeing a distorted version of Tom. I shivered and hurried home.

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The year was 1970 when all the trouble really began. There were many sudden deaths, and at first the cause was unknown. It was later discovered that a wizard who called himself Lord Voldemort was at the head of all the trouble. He had formed a group of men and women called Death Eaters who killed people.

When I first read about Voldemort in the Daily Prophet it drove me crazy because the name sounded familiar. I could not for the life of me remember where I had once heard it- it must have been long ago.

It was one of those things that annoyed me so much that I couldn't think of it that it was all I tried to think of. It was only when I had finally given up that I remembered where I had heard the name Voldemort before.

A bunch of boys at Hogwarts used to call Tom Riddle that.

I denied the obvious. This mass murderer that was on the loose was surely not Tom Riddle. Tom was a quiet boy and a good student. He didn't kill people, for heaven sake. But as the next few years passed and the crimes and the terror increased, I realized that Voldemort really was Tom Riddle.

In a sense, Tom Riddle did not exist anymore. He died at the age of 17. This new person, this Voldemort, was someone else. That was the only thing I could tell myself.

I still thought of Tom Riddle sometimes. I couldn't help it. Some memories of him were a little fuzzy, but others were vibrant in my mind. I had blocked out the thought of our kiss, but it was the little things that I remembered. The sight of him running his hands through his thick hair, or walking slowly down the hallway with a half smile playing on his lips.

I did not live in such fear of Lord Voldemort like everyone else did. They were scared to death that he would come to their house and do them in. I did not fear death too much and did not have much to live for anyway, so if I was doomed to die at his hands I would just accept it. Aside from that, I could only be curious as to what would happen if he did come into my house. If he would speak to me, remember me, or do anything at all.

There was one thing I read about him in the paper that did not make my acceptance of his killing easier. It was soon discovered that when Voldemort killed a person he left a symbol above the place when they had died. It was a green skull with a snake coming out of the mouth.

It was identical to the one I had seen over Garrett's house years ago.

The realization of this hit me hard. Back when we were only 17, Tom Riddle was still Tom Riddle. He was not the evil, ugly Lord Voldemort. And it had been Tom Riddle who killed Garrett. _Tom._ Not Voldemort.

I thought about Garrett every once in awhile, but he did not leave a huge impression of me. After all, we had only known each other for about three years, and over time he slowly faded away from me. It made me sad to think about him, but I had moved on with my life eventually.

I just could not understand why Tom had killed Garrett. I suppose the answer was obvious. Garrett had tried to get my necklace back from Tom. But why did Tom have to kill him? He was the more skilled wizard by far, why couldn't he have just held on to the necklace and never let Garrett near him?

I should have hated Tom Riddle with every fiber of my being. I had more reason to than so many other people. But for some reason, I just couldn't. I couldn't feel much of anything anymore. There was no passionate hate, no passionate love. My strong emotions seemed to have died with Garrett, at the age of 17.

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The year is now 1998. I am 72 years old. My heart is scarred and I am old. Not that old for a witch, perhaps, but I just feel old. I thought that I would never have to think about or hear about Tom Riddle/Lord Voldemort again.

16 years ago Voldemort seemed to have disappeared from the world. He tried to kill a tiny baby named Harry Potter, but could not do so and was seemingly destroyed.

Everyone rejoiced and praised The Boy Who Lived. They did not think they would have to worry about the horror that Voldemort brought anymore.

However, within the last few years Voldemort has come back. If anyone could do such a thing, Tom Riddle could. I did not know what to think, so I tried not to think at all.

I did not like to see people suffer, so I wished for Voldemort to be destroyed once and for all. Maybe if he died, the memory of the torture he put me through would die too. Because it tortured me every day to think that the boy I couldn't stop dreaming about had done all of this to the world.

It was even worse to think that I might have been able to stop him. When Garrett died, if I had only said something… told them that I suspected Tom Riddle was behind the whole thing. I doubted it would have made a difference, but you never really know.

There was nothing I could do now. I could only sit back and watch what happened.

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A/N: I don't know if this chapter was very good. I think it's a bit different than the ones I've written previously… I hope it's okay. There's still another chapter or two to go.


	18. The Horcrux

I was sitting in my small little house, reading a well worn book when the door rang. Surprised, I slowly got up to answer it. I very rarely received visitors. Catherine, who had remained my friend through all this time, would come to visit about once a year. She had gone to live in France and couldn't come more often.

When I opened the door I found four teenagers on my doorstep. I surveyed them critically. "You're not trying to cause any kind of trouble, are you?"

"No, ma'am," said the one who appeared to be the leader of the gang. "We'd like to ask you a few questions. Are you busy right now?"

I sighed. "No, come on in."

The boy walked in and the others trailed behind him. He looked very familiar, with messy jet black hair. As he seated himself he said, "I'm Harry Potter."

"Oh!" I gasped. "Of course!"

He did not reply to my comment but continued, "these are my friends: Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Ginny Weasley."

"Nice to meet you all," I said, still a bit confused as to why they were here in the first place. "Can I get you anything to eat or drink?"

"No, we're all right," said the brunette, Hermione, smiling at me.

"Okay," I said, "But I still don't understand why you guys are here to talk to me."

Harry took a deep breath and then began speaking. "I don't know if you've heard, but there was a prophecy created saying that either I was destined to kill Voldemort or he was destined to kill me. I'm now in the process of attempting to get rid of him. I don't suppose you know what a horcrux is?"

I searched my brain, desperately trying to remember. I was certain I'd heard the word before, I just could not remember where or when. "I'm sorry," I told him. "I'm certain I've heard the term, but the definition is escaping me right now."

"A horcrux is an object that can encase a piece of a person's soul. If a person has a horcrux, they cannot be killed. In order for one to be made, that person has to commit a murder. It is believed that Voldemort has created six of them."

I turned ghostly white, and the two females looked concerned. "I remember now," I whispered. "Tom Riddle…" I stopped, overcome.

Harry nodded and said to me, "Professor Dumbledore said you might know something. He said you might be able to help."

"No," I stammered. "I can't help you. There's nothing I can do for you."

Hermione leaned over and patted my leg at my noticeable distress, and Harry went on speaking. "About the horcruxes. We have reason to believe that Voldemort had a fascination with historical objects. We think he wanted to find four objects from the four founders of Hogwarts. Since you are a descendent of Ravenclaw's, we thought you might have had something he wanted."

"Did you know him at school?" said the pretty little redhead, Ginny.

"Yes," I whispered.

Hermione inquired, "Does your family have any heirlooms passed on from Rowena Ravenclaw?"

Suddenly it was all beginning to make sense. Everything was connecting in my mind, and some mysteries were being solved. I mumbled, "Yes. I had a necklace that belonged to Ravenclaw. But I don't have it anymore."

"Do you have any idea where it is?" Harry asked eagerly.

I sighed. "Let me tell you. The necklace was stolen when I was 15. I believe it was taken by Tom Riddle." Hermione's mouth fell open.

Harry looked dejected and said, "So you have no idea where it might be now?"

I bit my lip. "I do know. When I was 18 I went to my fiancé's house one day to find him dead inside, with the dark mark over the building and my necklace wrapped around his wrist."

They all looked shocked. "That's terrible," Hermione whispered.

Harry looked at me. "Did you take it back? Where is the necklace now?"

I shrugged hopelessly. "I had it buried with him."

"Of course!" he exclaimed. "It all adds up. Voldemort gathered the necklace before he committed the murder, just so he would have the items he wanted ready. Then he killed your boyfriend and turned the necklace into a horcrux, which he left with the body. He probably figured you wouldn't notice it or you'd leave it there, so it would be buried deep into the earth out of harm's way where no one could get to it or think to look." He paused. "You're lucky you didn't try and take it. These things have proved to be dangerous sometimes."

"We have to get it and destroy it," said Ron. "It's the last one."

"You're going to dig up Garrett's body?" I asked.

"If you don't mind," Ginny said quickly. "You see, if we destroy this…we can destroy Voldemort. All this pain and suffering everyone is going through… it will all be over."

I gulped. "Yes. Yes, of course."

I gave the four kids the information about Garrett's grave. I didn't want to think about what they'd have to do to get the horcrux they needed… and to eventually kill Voldemort.

But it made me feel just a little bit better to know that I had finally done something to stop Tom, and to bring him down. I made so many mistakes in the past, but at least now I could make up for it a little by helping to end the pain the world was in.

And as hard as my life had been, it still felt good to watch those good kids, with so much promise and ambition, venture out to the hardest challenge a person had to face. I watched them succeed in ways I never could. And somehow, knowing that they had my help made my life have some meaning.

The End

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A/N: So the story is finally over. I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope I was able to answer all your questions. I realize there might still be some lingering questions, so if you're wondering about anything let me know in your review and I'll reply to it.

If you want to read something else I'm writing I just posted the first chapter of my newest story, "Love Thy Enemy." It's going to be a Draco/Hermione fic. If you're interested, check it out.

Finally, I want to give one giant thank you to all of my reviewers! My previous fics usually had about 40 reviews, so I was so excited just to reach 100… and now you guys have pushed me up to 200! I love you all for it, and your comments are always so intricate and insightful… I love reading all of them. Thanks so much for taking the time to read my story, it does mean a lot to me.


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